6.09.2010

Dear Little Jack,

Here I am, your mom.  Some days that is really hard, but not today.  Today was one of the good ones.  After 2 pretty bad ones, I can appreciate the difference.
Jack, you have been frustrated lately that I won't let you just run free.  The warmer weather lures you outside, and I love that you like to be outside, I really do.   It's just that I like to keep tabs and keep you close most of the time.  At almost five, you see yourself as grown up as the ten year olds in the neighborhood.  I do not.  You feel ready to roam, and see the world as your playground with little understanding of ownership and property lines.  This difference in our views has lead to many difficult moments for both of us.  It has me dreaming of land.  Of acres I wish to give you so you can be free to roam. As it is, I can only offer .19 or so.  Maybe someday, I'll get that wish.  

But we've been working on it and you've been trying hard to appreciate the freedoms that I do give you and I loved our conversation as we lay in your bed together  tonight.  I told you I was proud of you for not whining or crying as much today about what I didn't let you do.  You told me you were sorry you were naughty for the two days before and that you would be even better tomorrow.  I told you I was proud that you didn't fight with your brothers much, just that one scuffle with Tays.  You wanted to know what a scuffle was.   =)  You are always sweet and teachable at night.  You are a really good little boy.  I hope I don't make you feel like a naughty one.  I know that when your brothers are almost five, this push for freedom will be easier for me.  I'll know what to expect, how to respond, what to do.  And I'll have you to help them know what is right, to be the leader.  Sorry that I don't know what I'm doing all the time when it comes to you.  You are patient with me, I think you can sense that I'm trying to do my best.  I love you tons.  I know you know that part.

mom

8 comments:

  1. You've really got it all together as a Mom.

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  2. That is really sweet. You'll get your acres someday.

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  3. I think that longing your feeling is for my house! Come home. I love you.

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  4. What a sweet boy he is! I'm glad you found him here the other day. I'll keep my eye out, now that I know he is 'out' :)

    I was (and still am) very protective. It's just this year as Kate is 9 that I am letting her leave my sight (the cul de sac). They grow up so fast. And he will push the boundaries, that's what his roll is. It's so hard as they change. Sometimes I long for the days when all my children were under my wing with no other external influences. But gone are those day, just like yesterday.
    Just remember, we grow and change right along with them as long as we are truly present in their lives. And you most certainly are. You are a great mother! Hang in there.

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  5. What a sweet letter. You're doing a great job with him.

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  6. Your letter made me tear up. I love the way you said you hoped you didn't make Jack feel like a naughty boy. I feel the same way when I'm trying to redirect behavior...and sure I will many more times in the future.

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  7. Just cried. I feel the same way with Carson and hope that she knows I'm not really sure what I am doing but am so glad she is patient with me :)

    You are an amazing mom. I aspire to raise Carson with the same loving heart you raised Jack.

    xoxoo

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  8. I just wanted to let you know that i left you a special award on my blog!

    Jennifer @ Life with the Lebedas
    www.lebedafamily.blogspot.com

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