Dear Little Jack,

Here I am, your mom.  Some days that is really hard, but not today.  Today was one of the good ones.  After 2 pretty bad ones, I can appreciate the difference.

Jack, you have been frustrated lately that I won't let you just run free.  The warmer weather lures you outside, and I love that you like to be outside, I really do.   It's just that I like to keep tabs and keep you close most of the time.  At almost five, you see yourself as grown up as the ten year olds in the neighborhood.  I do not.  You feel ready to roam, and see the world as your playground with little understanding of ownership and property lines.  This difference in our views has lead to many difficult moments for both of us.  It has me dreaming of land.  Of acres I wish to give you so you can be free to roam. As it is, I can only offer .19 or so.  Maybe someday, I'll get that wish.  

But we've been working on it and you've been trying hard to appreciate the freedoms that I do give you and I loved our conversation as we lay in your bed together  tonight.  I told you I was proud of you for not whining or crying as much today about what I didn't let you do.  You told me you were sorry you were naughty for the two days before and that you would be even better tomorrow.  I told you I was proud that you didn't fight with your brothers much, just that one scuffle with Tays.  You wanted to know what a scuffle was.   =)  You are always sweet and teachable at night.  You are a really good little boy.  I hope I don't make you feel like a naughty one.  I know that when your brothers are almost five, this push for freedom will be easier for me.  I'll know what to expect, how to respond, what to do.  And I'll have you to help them know what is right, to be the leader.  Sorry that I don't know what I'm doing all the time when it comes to you.  You are patient with me, I think you can sense that I'm trying to do my best.  I love you tons.  I know you know that part.

mom