twenty seven

Well, hello.  This dumpy computer being what it is, it shuts down whenever I attempt to upload pictures.  So someday I'll do a great photo update, but until then, you're stuck with just my words.   We have returned from our trip to Washington.  It was inspiring, as always.  On the way up we caravaned with Nick, Nadine, Audrey(5), Eric(3), and baby Sam. It was a great trip. We filled the week with games and outings and great food, as always.  I hardly saw Jack or Taylor, as they were outdoors adventuring with Peter and Audrey and Eric.  Noah joined them much of the time, but at least he came to find me for reasons other than an empty stomach. "THIS is how little boys should grow up" I kept thinking to myself...but of course I've never thought differently.  

On one of the first evenings there Kevin and I took a long walk down the gravel roads, surrounded by trees and fields and sky.  Austin and Noah were in the stroller, but were content to just ride along and let us muse about the beauty of it all and discuss our life.  We talked about living a life we choose to, acting rather than being acted upon.  There are some aspects of my life that are very deliberate.  Having 5 children in six years is one of those aspects, as out of control as it may seem.  Living in Utah on a .19 acre lot...well, it works for now. 

And then there are smaller things, like waking up in the morning and each little interaction with my children.  Most days, my days begin with me being "acted upon" when I wake at a time dictated by my earliest riser (usually Taylor or Noah).  Without recognizing it, I've come to spend most of my days, my moments, reacting to the actions of my children.  They wake, I wake.  They fight, I break it up. They make a mess, I clean. They need something, I  get it.  They get hungry, I figure out what to feed them.  Part of  this  has come of necessity.  Their wants, their minds, their needs, have become my world.  I don't resent that and have really come to enjoy it, actually.  But I'm beginning to hear a call to action where my conscious choices would dictate to makeup of my day.  Since that conversation up in Washington, it seems to be a theme in my life.  The Sunday school lesson on agency, another great conversation with my mom, the book on tape we listened to all the way home was a novel about a man who lived his life doing what he loved and not compromising himself to fit in with the world...then I came home and realized the series of tapes I bought at a yard sale a few weeks ago is called Active Parenting and they're all about not being reactive in your approach to raising children.   It seems I have a lesson to learn and Heavenly Father is making it very clear for me.  


I turned 27 last Friday. 27 has been my lucky number since middle school when it happened to be that 2 of the boys I liked both had birthdays on the 27th of different months.  It was fate. Not really, but even still, it's remained a number that holds significance above other numbers, dorky I know.  But it seems appropriate that I would be feeling like this here as I enter a new (significant) year of being alive.  It will not be just another year, it will be a year of my making. The second trimester of pregnancy is always motivating. I come back to life a bit and feel the anticipation of good things on the horizon. Nesting comes in to play and I undertake big projects on a whim.  I feel the need to get every aspect of my life in order before the baby comes. 

By the way, it IS a boy!  Can you believe it?  boy names anyone?