my thoughts on a Wednesday night

Three months to go before my fifth little son is born. Sometimes this thought is overwhelming to me and it seems almost unreal that I will be the mother of five. But here I sit with Austin as he watches Little Bear (having tucked in my other three for the night) waiting for a stinky diaper so I can put him to bed too.  The baby is kicking.  My thoughts go to that fuzzy baby who will soon join us. 

(brand new baby Austin)

I hear Noah creeping down the stairs, then see his feet as he sits on the bottom step, waiting to be discovered and whisked up to bed, yet again.  He's heard the show and reluctently enters the room and perches himself on the arm of the couch.  He looks at me and grins, trying to be as charming as possible.  I raise my eyebrows, but have neither the energy nor the heart to be firm right now, so he'll stay for ten minutes until the show is over.

Kevin finishes studying for the night and joins us.  He too gives Noah a look, but he's a softy and says nothing, just gives me a smile and settles with Austin on the couch.

My refrigerator is covered in paintings, the most recent artistic creations of Jack and Taylor, held up by letter magnets.  Four pumpkins line the center of my dining table.  Those pumpkins. =)

A few weeks ago I proposed we go get some pumpkins, let each boy pick his own, pick up a few groceries, then top off the night with ice cream cones from the deli. It was a fun plan and I felt like a good mom just thinking about it.  But the ONLY thing the boys remember from the night is the grocery shopping part. 

While I went around with Austin, picking up tortillas and eggs, Kevin took the other boys in the car cart.  From across the store, I could hear delighted screaming followed by hysterical laughter.  I came around the corner to see Kevin coming my way fast, the boys wide-eyed and laughing as Kevin purposely swerved, then swerved again, just in time to miss a corner display.  They scream and laugh again.  He flips the cart around as he nears me and I think I've never seen three happier boys. I'll admit, it was a little horrifying to witness, but who am I to rain on a  parade?  And I must say, Kevin is quite skilled in the art of shopping cart nagivation, even at high speeds.  A very handy skill for a father, I think.  All the way home they thanked Kevin again and again.  Not for the pumpkins, not for the ice cream, but for the ride in the cart. =)

Yes, we are neck-deep in parenthood, Kevin and I. And while we're both shaking in our boots a little at the thought of five, there is always an underlying peace and excitement.  This is our life now, these thoughts of diaper changing schedules, that art on the fridge, those pumpkins on the table, the joy of everyone laughing at the same time, and that naughty little son smiling at a funny part on little bear.  Or is it because he's evaded bed for twenty minutes now?

Time to get back to it, because although it's been good to just observe and reflect for a while, Noah will be a grumpy little bear tomorrow if he doesn't get some sleep.