I was ambitious, hoping to tackle my much neglected bedroom, catch up on laundry, organize the toy closet, clean the kitchen, prepare for my webelos den meeting, and make dinner before Kevin got home.
But no. Adam (who is usually the most easy going baby) just wanted me all day. He just didn't want to sleep, didn't want to swing, he just wanted to be in my arms. And so I begrudgingly shifted gears. I fought it, because I feel oh so behind on cleaning. I tried time and again to get him to go along with my plan, but nothing worked and my house is still in shambles.
And here he is now. My baby. The one who ruined my day. And I don't know why I'm tearing up as I type this...stop it. Alright. I just love this little boy. And I think that happens when you sacrifice for someone, even a little someone. I had to let things go undone all day, half-finished jobs, cringing when my doorbell rang and my neighbor caught me covered in spit up, the contents of my toy closet spewed all over my living room, greeting my husband with nothing to show for the hours he spent away, going to webelos pretty unprepared, making pancakes for dinner (for the 2nd time in the past 2 weeks...), and now sitting here exhausted. I add all of that up and it makes sense that I'd feel a little resentful, but somehow, I'm filled with love. so. much. love. for this little squish.
and now I'm going to go to bed.
in my messy room.
and that's alright by me.
Somedays are just like that. Sometimes when E's at preschool I'll be rocking Mimi and talking to her and then I check my watch and oops--suddenly an hour has passed. Sometimes I rush around like mad trying to catch up and sometimes I just go, "meh" and snuggle her some more and we eat something microwavable for dinner.
ReplyDeleteI read this poem recently and it's been popping into my head a lot lately:
"Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait til tomorrow,
But children grow up as I've learn to my sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby.
Babies don't keep. "
I love that poem and think of it often myself. They really do grow so fast, and things fall into order...eventually.
ReplyDeleteOh those sweet hard days,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good mom!!
That poem drives me nuts sometimes (though I know it's true) because when there's so many little ones, it feels like everything gets pushed to tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm here to tell you that tomorrow comes and while you won't have time for everything, you'll have time for enough to make these sacrifices today worthwhile.
And I agree with Grandma -- you're doing a wonderful job!
It is so cool that you call Adam your little squish. My friend (now an amazing mother of six) always called her babies her little "squish bugs."
ReplyDelete