why do I care?

Triple strollers are really expensive, so last year I converted our double jogging stroller into a triple by adding an extra seat belt. It actually works really well, though I'm sure my neighbors (who probably can't see the extra belt from a distance) think I'm some sort of crazy person, piling my children in a stroller like that.

Yesterday we walked up to a friends house. Well, I walked, and everyone else rode. Jack, Taylor, and Noah in the stroller and Austin in the Bjorn. I felt a bit like one-woman circus trudging up the hill, my legs burning, my back killing. I'm sure it was quite a sight to behold, especially on our way home. The boys were all hot and cranky and had taken off their shoes. I'm not a good enough writer to do the situation justice. There were a few people outside and as I passed I felt like "that" Utah mom. The one with so many grubby little kids she didn't know what to do.

I can't decide if I should care what people think.

On one hand NO: this is my life, and I know that I'm not a horrid mother, so why care how I may appear to onlookers.

On the other hand YES: I work hard to make sure that my life is not a complete mess, my children are very well cared for, and that I'm not all frazzled or incapable (at least not most of the time)...I don't want people to think otherwise.

I'm sure I worry about it too much. My mom was able to find a good balance, one that wasn't pretentious, but still gave our family a good name. But Jane is amazing, and I fall far short of all that she is as a mother and homemaker. Ah, well. I guess I'll just do my best and people will think what they want. I just have to try not to care.

On another note. I adore my little Noah. I couldn't design a more charming 1 year old. He loves me like crazy and adds sunshine to my days. When I hold him he clings to me like a little monkey, sometimes hooking his foot in my pants for added security. You'd think this might be annoying, but it never is. When I call him my monkey he beams and says "OOO AH AH AH." He loves it.

I'm not always sure how to end posts. That's all.

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