6.29.2009

Holding Austin


Tonight after the other boys were in bed Kev and I admired little Austin as he slept in his chair. He was all curled up in a ball, his chubby thighs nestled up against his chest, his fat hand cradling his nose as he sucked his thumb. I told Kev that I sometimes feel guilty that such cuteness goes under-appreciated in our family of many little boys. Kev assured me that no one could love a baby as much as I do. It may be true, I ADORE babies, and this baby in particular. And there is nothing more touching to me than to see the love in Kevin's eyes as he holds him, so I'm pretty sure he likes him too. He is a perfect baby. I couldn't resist picking him up and nursing him for a while, kissing his soft head and squishing his legs.

The craziness of my life, the second-guessing our family game plan, the feelings of inadequacy that sometimes linger in the back of my mind are gone in moments like that. I wouldn't change a thing if it meant that I wouldn't be holding my Austin at the end of the day.

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