Soon I will be with my people. We'll load up the van and 12 hours later I'll be home. It seems like one of the greater injustices in my life, those 12 hours between me and and my home. It has become easier through the years. The more I consent to pulling my roots out of Washington and slowly transplanting myself here, the more I am able to love my situation.
It's just that there are people there who know me better than anyone. People who aren't even in my family, but who still have a special interest in my life. People who saw me through some awkward years and appreciate more fully who I am now. People who were praying that I would one day marry their son because they loved me, or was it because they loved my mom? Either way. They knew me well and wanted me. People who aided in my spiritual development and felt invested in my success. Who still take pride in me now, because although they only see me a few times a year, they helped me become what I am. They don't question our life choices, they're just happy to fuss over our boys and thrilled to meet our newest son. It is a place full of understanding and void of judgment.
As I pack my bags I don't worry about what I'm going to wear too much. No one cares about that. It's a small town and people just don't care. It used to bother me right after my family moved there when I was in high school. I'd see people coming to school in pajama pants and hooded sweatshirts and think "come on, people!" I had come from an affluent Atlanta suburb where clothes were a much greater consideration and defined how people felt about you. But slowly suburbia gave way to the rural influence and I found comfort in the release. I still do. Everyone should have such a place in the world.
So I'll live here and love here as long as I need to, but my heart will forever have a tender spot for that slightly dumpy little town in northeastern Washington and the humble people who reside there. They love me and I love them and they will forever be my people.
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Natalie! So great to meet you...I love what you wrote and have struggled with some of the same things myself, although I'm about 5-6 hours from home, not 12. Your boys are super sweet...love their names. And, for the record, I think you look adorable in the headband a few posts down :)
ReplyDeleteI want a place like that, it sounds nothing like LA. I can't wait to go home to Portland. Although, going home for me can be stressful for me, it is so nice just to relax.
ReplyDeleteWe will miss you! Have so much fun!!!
ReplyDeleteYou made me miss my home town and home ward in Tucson Arizona. My parents moved away from there a few years back so I wonder if and when I'll ever have a reason to make the trip back to my "home" where I grew up. We were basically the only family with growing teenagers in that ward, and I often pitied myself for being stuck in a "Newly-wed, & Nearly-dead" ward. But all those old people who watched me grow up are like extra grandparents and aunts and uncles to me now. I miss them every once in a while. I hope you have a really safe and really fun trip. You are a hero for braving 12 hours in the car with your kids!
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