Mother's Day letter to my boys:

Dear Little Boys,

Another year of being your mom has been my blessing.  I feel like I'm still learning, learning to be loving and patient, learning how to make time for everyone, stay connected, keep order.  Will I ever feel like I have it all together?  I don't know, but you don't seem to mind one way or the other.  You like me.

This Mother's Day began with a swing in the hammock with Noah, and then Taylor who joined us when he woke up.  We snuggled in my green blanket and watched the birds on the prettiest morning yet this year I'd say.  Inside, Dad made waffles for me and Abby made a smoothie.  Everything was so good, and I'm not just talking about the food.  I love my life with you, my little boys.

As I was eating, Austin started fussing in the high chair.  I moved toward him but Kevin swept in and said I get a break from being a mother today, like on Labor Day when we get a break from work...It was kind and while I did take it easier, I want you to know that I don't need a break from you very often.  It's funny how that works.  The more I focus on you and immerse myself in this role, the more I see your little successes, hone in on your personal strengths.  I find deep satisfaction in you, Noah, finishing a whole piece of toast, and you, Jack, breathing instead of yelling when things are frustrating, and you, Austin, as you happily go to the arms of another while I make dinner, and you, Tays, saying "excuse me, mom." instead of grabbing my face to get my attention-- because I know these are not easy accomplishments for you all.  It is my pleasure to be here with you, to see you grow, to help you learn.  I love being with you.

Our family is still little but I have such a vision of who each of you are already.  Tonight I rocked you Austin, and sang "may you grow in your own sweet way" (my favorite lullaby.)  Austin in bed, I went to tuck in the rest of you.  Taylor, you kept saying "I want to turn out the light with you."  I let you turn off the lamp, but that wasn't it.  It dawned on me that the first line in the lullaby is "the last thing I do each night, before turning out the light..." and I scooped you up in my arms and asked "like this?" and started singing.  You were SO happy as I rocked and sang to you.  It took me back a few years to when I would do this for you.  You were a little older than Austin is now, but you'd chime in on the chorus and sing "fweet way" and I learned to pause at the very end and you would sing the last word alone. It's "grow" but you'd say "gwow."  Such sweet memories I have with you.  And now you're so big and I was reminded of the book "love you forever" as I rocked you tonight. 

Jack, earlier this week you dug in the dirt and found every little rock you could.  I was surprised when you joined me at the table and dumped the whole bucket in front of my plate.  Reminding myself to not be irritated by the dirt, I asked about the rocks.  You informed me that they were all brown.  Big brown ones and little brown ones.  I asked if you wanted to give them a bath and of course you did.  You grabbed a handful and headed for the bathroom=)  That wasn't what I had in mind so I called you back and filled a bowl with warm water and took it outside.  Taylor joined you and I went back inside.  You came in to find me later and couldn't wait to show me your collection.  You'd lined them all carefully on a long board and they were shining in the sun.  You were so proud and excited and I loved you so much in that moment.  You're such a good boy.

Austy, you are the most mine of any baby yet.  You love me, you're addicted to me really.  For the last few weeks you've been especially out of sorts and will shriek if I'm in the room and someone else is holding you.  Once in my arms, you are a delight.  You melt into me and are usually content to just sit with me, leaning on my chest or go about the house with me, observing as I try to get things done with you in tow.  It's hard to describe the bitter/sweet sentiments this stirs up in me.  Yes, it is inconvenient, but I really adore you more for adoring me so exclusively.  That may sound selfish, but it's how I feel.  In the last 2 days, you've begun to be yourself again, more cheerful and less clingy.  I like that too because it makes other people appreciate you more=)  When you sleep longer stretches or are late to wake up, I honestly miss you.  I'm addicted to you too.  You're just so wonderful.

And Noah, you.  You are a darling little two.  You are a stinker sometimes, but you're so darn charismatic that I can hardly keep from smiling as I try to reprimand you.  This morning as I was cleaning up blocks you came in and just started helping me, clicking your tongue as you went.  This has become the "larson boy happy sound," especially with you and Taylor.  Click, click, click all day long.  I love that you click when you do something nice or good.  When you're helping, you're happy.  You're just a very happy child in general.  You have a light behind your eyes and you although your voice has a whiny tone to it, you really aren't a whiner.  You're tough.  You are a wonderful little pal to me, to everyone.  You eat like a bird and hide in the corner of the hall when you should be sleeping.  You don't exactly hide...you want to be found.  You'll throw things down the stairs to alert us of your presence, then go back to that corner.  Oh, you little pill.  But you'll be smiling and usually, I just can't be mad. 

My love for each of you runs so deep.  It's hard to isolate moments because my days are filled with them.  I love you every day.  I love you uniquely, you are all so different.  I love our little society at home and the company you provide me.  It just gets better every year.

All my love,



  1. What a beautiful letter! What a wonderful mom you are!

  2. I absolutely adore this letter! Thank you for sharing...sounds like you had a blessed Mother's Day:)

  3. This is so sweet. I plan on referring back to it in a few years.

  4. What a sweet letter! Your boys are lucky to have you.

  5. "I love our little society at home..." I've never heard that statement before. You have such a talent for words. Your boys are going to devour that letter you wrote to them when they are older...for sure, for sure.

  6. those four sweet boys are lucky to have you as their mom!

    p.s. your new camera rocks...the pics are crystal clear!


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