what a mess.

My mom has started taking classes during the day, and this has thrown a wrench into my routine.  Usually, after breakfast sometime, I'll get the boys settled into doing something then spend a significant amount of time on the phone with my mom as we both do what needs to be done around our houses.  Her call signals to my brain "time to be productive!" and I have a burst of sudden energy. I'm struggling to find that jolt without the call.  Am I really so dependent on my mother, after four kids and all these years of being on my own?  Admittedly so. 

So while my mom sits in an American History class, I just sit in a stupor trying to find it within myself to go on without her.  I don't feel lazy, just confused...like my mind just doesn't know what to do without the regular stimuli.  I tell myself "alright, Natalie.  If you get all of this done before Kevin gets home today, you'll have a great weekend free of laundry, scrubbing and mopping.  Doesn't that sound great?"  And it does sound great, really great. But still, the phone doesn't ring and my feet don't move.  I want to do it, but can I really train myself to adjust to this lesser way of living?

I think I could, though it may take a while.  Maybe therapy?  A new conditioned response?   I'll let you know when I sort it out and my mind and home are again in order.  Until then, don't stop by unexpectedly.  I think it would just be awkward for both of us.    


  1. So you mean you have a device so you can hands-free-talk while you work? That's what I do, too, and I love it. Only not to my Mom anymore.

    My mom passed away a few years ago, but I was very close to her like you are to your Mom. Especially when I was in my 20s and my sons were small. I think it's a good thing to be close like that. Let us know what you figure out. Your post reminds me of a chapter from the book, "Who moved my cheese?'

  2. I listen to something almost every day while I clean -- General Conference, Women's Conference, Education Week, and the like. I recently discovered the Conversations program on the Mormon channel and have been uplifted by listening to interviews with great people. It's wonderful to use that cleaning time to think and ponder and learn.

    I'm jealous you have such a great relationship with your mom! =)

  3. Hey Natalie! Just catching up here...I still always love reading your posts and thoughts. I'm blessed with an awesome momma too...and I love your phone call tradition!!! Things don't phase me as much when I'm with my mom, I love what her presence does for me!!!! SO, hopefully your mom will get fed up with higher education, but, in the meantime...crank some music and get your preggo butt moving!

  4. I'm jealous you got that even for a while. My mom went to back to school and started teaching when I was in college, so though I wished we could have daily morning chats, it just could not be. (Except sometimes in the summer (YAY!) if she's not at Young Women's camp or hosting exchange students or something...) But I was lucky enough to have morning phone calls with my younger sister for a few months before she started college. We would get each other in gear and when we got ourselves off the phone, throughout the day we would send texts to motivate each other and update on what we had checked off our to-do lists. I can't wait until my sisters are home with their own kids so we can do that together. Until then, I just keep trying to self-motivate. The conference talk idea has worked for me as has BYU internet TV (I like the show Real Families, Real Answers). Dancing around and cleaning to music often helps. And I do promise myself fun things to do with my husband as well. But I have yet to find anything that works quite as well as a personal connection with a loved one. Let me know if you do. :)


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