4.10.2009

optimism

I have been thinking a lot about optimism the last few days, a virtue I have been lacking for the last few weeks. I wake up thinking "this is going to be a long day..." and go through the day in survival mode. Kevin has been reading a book called "The Endurance." It's an amazing true story of an antarctic expedition that went awry. The men went though unimaginable trials (honestly, I can't believe what they went through) in their attempts to return to civilization for almost 2 years! And I wake up in my warm house and have trouble facing the day? What's wrong with me?

I'm not going to rant about the spoiled generation I am a part of, though I do enjoy this video on the subject. I've just been disappointed in myself at what a whiner I am, realizing how great I have it and yet I still find things to be unhappy about. I went through yesterday with this in mind and it was great. As rougher times arose, as they always do, I just accepted it and made the best of it. I didn't allow myself to say "I shouldn't have to deal with this, I can't handle one more thing," because I can. I'm stronger than I've been allowing myself to think.

Why is it that we like to gripe? For me, it has been my way of being a sortof martyr, like if I go through life with a smile then no one will appreciate all that I am doing. But that's dumb. It puts me against my kids, and my life in general. Of course I'm not going to be getting a good nights sleep right now, and my house will get messy again and again, and my baby will need me just as I'm trying to get anything done, and my boys will get cranky, and naps won't be as long as they should be...this is all to be expected. I know that, it's not a surprise, so I can deal with it in a good way. And the truth is, my husband knows all of this too, and will only appreciate me more if I don't whine about all of it. Of course. So, sorry for whining. I'll be better, because I really have nothing to whine about.

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