my untidy little post

It seems health has returned to our sick house and I'm grateful. Only 2 little coughs remain.

I'm sleep-deprived, but mostly back on top and am determined to clean, clean, clean. I have a friend (such a cute girl!) who, according to her profile, loves to keep things tidy. I think about that a lot, more than she ever thought anyone would ponder it, I'm sure. I just wish I could say I'm a tidy person. I'm not really. While I love the feel of a clean house, I'm not great at keeping it that way. I don't live in squalor, but if I were to say that I like to keep things tidy, I'd feel very awkward if anyone who reads this were to come to my door unannounced. I do LIKE to keep things tidy, I just don't do a great job most of the time.

I loved this post by my mom this morning. My laundry is what has been overwhelming me lately, and since reading that I've completed 4 of the 6 loads I need to get done. Yeah. (as I typed that I absentmindedly said "yee-uh" and Jack, who was standing beside me asked "what's yee-uh mean, mom?" I talk to myself when I type, just so you know). And I spent the morning cleaning my room, and this afternoon I cleaned the boys room, cleaned Noah's old room and got the crib all set up for Austin in there, cleaned and vacummed the main level...When Kevin got home he was convinced something was bothering me because I just kept cleaning and wasn't talking much. I'm not sure how to describe it, I was just in a zone--surviving the afternoon crankiness of everyone but Jack and cleaning like a mad woman. Not really mad, though. Just focused. I've needed a really focused day for a while now and when I woke up feeling well I was anxious to get going. That post and my new obsession with wanting to be "tidy" spurred me on all day.

Last year I vowed to write in my journal every day. I did it for almost 2 months straight, then never again. It's been really interesting to read "a year ago today" every night with Kevin. Some things are just the same: cleaning, boys, laundry, my love for Kevin. I do see growth in myself though and I wish I had kept it up more diligently, or at all I guess. It's proof that all these days are adding up to something, changing me in good ways mostly, shaping my boys in ways I can't detect in my daily observations.

On the negative side, Taylor has been potty training for way too long. It's been very off again/on again. When he has an accident Jack will point out "Taywor is NOT on the potty train, mom." Indeed he is not. First he just wasn't ready, now I think it is more a lack of structure on my part. Any suggestions? Hopefully a year from now I'll read this and barely remember what a struggle it has been.

My sisters joined us for Sunday dinner last night, each with a date. They are cute and nice and all things good. Marlee was on a blind date with a guy Kristen set her up with. Kristen came with a friend. Mikelle came with her boyfriend Clark, who I love, and she loves. They sat there and held hands and gazed at eachother and talked and laughed quietly together, as a louder group conversation swirled all around them. They seemed oblivious. Ah, young love.
(mikelle & clark)

But as I sat there with Kevin, I was glad we're past that phase. I love that after 5+ years of marriage all the walls are down and he still loves me. Things are looking up for him at work and he's really excited for this year. I so admire his optimism. Really. He's smart, honest, hard-working and chipper and I feel really lucky to be his wife. And he got me a blackberry, let's not forget that part.

And these are all the things that have been in my head. And I can't think of a clever way to tie them all together into a tidy little post. But there you have it, I'm just all over the place.


  1. No way!! I totally want to call you right now, but two problems: I don't have your phone number, and you are in a different time zone so it's probably way too early for you. I'm reading your blog post--because I love your blog--and I see a picture of my cousin on your blog! What the random?! Marlee is dating Clark Knowlton from CA, right? He's my cousin. Our moms are sisters. I heard he had a girlfriend, but I didn't know that she was from one of the greatest families I know! No seriously, this is pretty cool. It's a small world. Good luck on the laundry. I've got a lot and that's going to be my one goal for the day. Wish me luck!

  2. Natalie, this was the perfect post to start my day. I read your mom's last night and have been kind of simmering those thoughts around this morning wondering what things in my life use up more energy being undone than just doing them. Laundry- perfect example. I'm off!
    Oh, and the only wisdom I've gained on the potty training front (although each kiddo is so different who knows how well it can be reapplied) is that it was way more about me than him. Am I ready to do the loads of laundry that it will intail, am I mentally prepped to not let my disapointment/ frustration show too much with accidents, is the rest of my family stable enough that they will be ok if I spend a handful of days focused on helping him get on that potty train? Once you decide you're ready and you think he is, just ask for lots of prayers and don't turn back :) Good luck!

  3. I'm having such a hard time potty training too. I want him to potty train because I know he can, but I think part of me is holding back because then I'll have to spend so much time in the potty with him...especially when we go out. I'll always have to worry about the cleanliness of store bathrooms that I would normally just "hold it" through. We did buy a 'car potty' from Ikea to keep in the trunk for those gotta go now moments (because we ever leave the house!). Sigh! Right now I'm using dumdums as pee treats and little rice crispie treats as poop treats. And of course we have stickers for just giving it a try. It's so much easier to potty train at bedtime though. I think he just likes to use the flashlight to watch- apparently being a boy is lots of fun. Let me know if you discover any brilliant training ideas!!

  4. I enjoy this blog and the Asking Jane blog, because the positivity just motivates in such and honest way! Thank you!

  5. I understand that "zone". I just wished I was in the "zone" more often. Mikelle is so cute and they are darling together. I remember being like that with Sean just soaking up every drop he had to say and never wanting to be away. Ah.

    I love the Asking Jane blog too. I don't comment because I don't have kids or much to contribute but I like reading.

  6. What a great idea to read back your journal just a year later to see growth. Especially since you are reading all those wonderful things I'm sure you wrote about your husband...to him.
    Mikelle and Clark...those 2 names sure sound cute together!

  7. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is semi-random. It make me feel good to know that you're out there feeling like there are things to talk about even when they don't all go together. So thank you!

  8. If you figure out that potty-training thing, please let me know. I'm still hopeless at that, or maybe my kids are.


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